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The Trouble With … Logan Paul (And Vloggers)

2 January, 2018

The foul smelling stench of You Tube has turned a shade of dried urine almost from the turn into 2018 with worldwide soaking of panties over Logan Paul’s less than tasteful visit to Aokigahara (青木ヶ原), the so-called ‘Sea of trees’ at the base of Mount Fuji in Japan which for years was a popular setting for Japanese ghost stories and other supernatural legends, but has now joined the Golden Gate Bridge and Beachy Head as one of the world’s traditional place to go and kill yourself.

(Strangely, the deadliest places in the world, such as Yorkshire’s The Strid – where to fall in means certain death in seconds – often have no history as popular suicide spots, which does back psychologists claims that more often than not these places are chosen for their significance to accentuate what they are making is a cry for help – unfortunately, this doesn’t always work out as subconsciously planned)

Japanese culture has an unfortunate prediliction with suicide, even by Oriental standards, and as the internet has made the world smaller, so Aokigahara now attracts an international audience of media ghouls who know what their audiences want – of which Logan Paul has been merely the latest.

In this case he found more than he bargained for.

This was not so much the problem as his reaction to it. Even given for the perhaps understandable bizarre way people will act in shock over a moment of horror (laughter being a common one – as the Milgram Experiment showed), his behaviour was in poor taste.

There was the inevitable apology, which tend to be of the same ‘my bad!’ sincerity as a court lawyer withdrawing a remark the judge has asked the jury to ignore knowing full well it will have had the effect intended regardless, combined with the equally inevitable self-justification (‘it was to raise awareness, bros! ‘Coz suicide sucks, dudes. So, like, don’t do it, and stuffs.’ ).

Had he thrown in an apology for that haircut, it may have gone some way to showing sincerity.

Whoops! Can’t have flippancy, this is all super serial. Even Sophie Turner, or Ginger Stark from Game Of Thrones took time out to take him down.

Huh! The same Sophie Turner who had no problems letting herself be raped by Ramsey Bolton in Game Of Thrones for the sake of ratings (and her own blossoming career – ‘show them you can handle the grittier roles – look how ‘The Accused’ worked wonders for Jodie Foster, you don’t want to end up typecast as a fairy princess all your days!’) – a full two seasons after Emilia Clarke took a stand and made it clear to the show’s producers they were getting no more wardrobe malfunctions or ‘break the cutie’ scenes from her as disquiet grew over how much the show was trying to be real to the medieval style societies it is based around and how much was merely violent pornographic titillation and female objectification of women – brutal tropes from half a century ago the media claim they wish to bury.

It’s been much the same media reaction elsewhere, Vanity Fair showing no sense of self-awareness with the following.

The same humbuggery has appeared on You Tube itself with its own latest bonfire of the vanities – seems like only yesterday they were roasting PewDiePie for crimes against humanity.

The looks of horror, the face clutching, the hand haircomb of despair, the tears.

THE TEARS DAMN YOU TO HELL, THE TEARS!

***cough!*** maybe might make us some money later for the vlogs which are monetarised, maybe ***cough!***

Can’t you see how much these poor innocent Vloggers have been triggered by all this? How much they are suffering for us all, dying for his sins! They are so brave! Doing so much! Remember these videos are NOT monetised, and they have made donations in honour of the person whose name and all other details are completely unknown.

AND YOU SHOULD TOO, AND THAT’S THE ONLY MONEY THEY ASK OF YOU – THE – ONLY – MONEY!

ONE – LOUSY – BUCK, COUGH – UP – MUTHAFUCKERS!

You may however want to show solidarity by subscribing. Just saying without actually saying. We’re doing a good deed and stuffs. It’s up there in a nice big red button. Doesn’t cost you anything. Go on, press it. That felt better, didn’t it? Ahhhhhhh.

As Kavos, Boogie2988, True Geordie, My Name Is Martin and the rest of these pollutants of the zeitgeist wring their hands and wash them in their own crocodile tears, you know they’re hoping they’ll be the ones to benefit from the backlash. The ‘just ended his career’ is more a wish than a question.

Maybe they will get a slice of the Logan Paul action with all the fame (it’s a relative thing) and fortune (which most certainly isn’t and beats the hell out of proper work) it comes with – travelling the world for a start on someone else’s tab needs no recommendation when the alternative for these losers is some entry level job in a call centre or flipping burgers – if they’re lucky to find a job at all in the current climate.

If anything highlighted the shamelessness of these You Tube vloggers, it’s their God.

The same PewDiePie they all turned against in a heartbeat when the real, whoops, ‘mainstream’ media tore him to pieces over these…

… and for much the same reason flies lay their eggs on wounded flesh, in the hope their future will be nourished on the rotting corpse of the dead. One YouTube star dies, there’s always another thousand competing to take their place, as has been the way since the days of Boxxxy.

To put matters into context, not one of these ‘traumatised’ Vloggers – or any other media outlets for that matter – raised a murmer of protest over Vice’s trip to Aokigahara five years ago, which produced the following grotesque moment from sixteen minutes onward:

Half a minute later comes the following gem.

‘Yes we did find a skeleton today.’

OH REALLY! WOW! THANKS FOR POINTING THAT OUT AFTER HALF A MINUTE PANNING ALL OVER IT!

On and on, with more time given to the poor bastard than they ever got in life – there’s your metaphor in all this.

That, and not a single word of protest was ever raised about the film or any part of it, and this is one of the most viewed You Tube channels of all.

Consider that before you swallow any of the bullshit from these publicity parasites pretending that Logan Paul has somehow dropped the bar which fell to the ground, onto a dog turd and been covered in various others long before he came to pick it up and hurl for the dogs to chase.

What’s even more troubling is the cold fact plenty of those criticising him aren’t angry, scandalised or anything else other than being merely jealous. Sure, the video was taken down, sure he was forced to show contrition, but to paraphrase Stephen Fry to Natalie Portman in V For Vendetta in the meantime his hit count will soar as every other video gets hammered from rubberneckers looking for other examples of shocking content.

The trouble with Logan Paul isn’t what he did was so offensive, so above the normal boundaries of good taste. It’s that it was so atypical of those seeking to maximise their audiences within the pipsqueak medium of You Tube that in the amoral world of the Vlogger what they will really be cursing him for is in their private mind they will feel he got ‘lucky’. Anyone pretending otherwise there’s one word for you – Quxxn!

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