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Harry Potter & The Island Of Bumnuggetry (plus Rakime’s Wizard Wand now genderless)

16 July, 2011

‘I thought he would come. I expected him to come. I was, it seems… mistaken.’

‘Tell us about it. I even put on this Slytherin t-shirt so he’d know it was us! Haily, you did send it to the correct address didn’t you?’

‘Er, yeah.’

‘You did sent it by owl?’

‘Um, no, because there’s no owls here, so I sent it by jellyfish instead.’

‘Oh this is most inconvenient! I told you Elysia that you ought to have let I or one of my sisters compose the correspondence.’

‘No Willow, we wanted something concise, not something that reads like the first chapter of a Jane Austin book where it takes them five pages just to go and take a dump.’

‘That is most vulgar, Cloverstardrop! My tutor told me my writing was most splendid for my age.’

‘What age are we talking about? Stone Age? Iron Age? Saus Age?’

‘Pray tell, what did you say in your letter to the Potter boy, Haily.’

‘Yeah, good point Hazel, Read the letter you sent again.’

‘Um, got a draft copy scrunched up in my pocket… uh, here it is! Ahem…

Dear Harry Potter,

You dick! We challenge you and your so-called hard mates in Dumbledore’s Army to a death duel here on Lonely Island this Saturday coming at midnight.

Tea and biscuits will be provided.

Hope the weather’s nice where you are.


Haily Farber – Jazz-Hands Wand Duelling Club

P.S. If you can bring Draco Malfoy along as well that would be scrummy since we all want to screw him.’

‘We all want to what?

‘Gordon Bennett! Haily, you bumnugget! You douchewaffle in failple syrup! He probably thought it was a crank letter and ignored it! We’ve been standing around here like puddings for nowt! Innit marvellous?’

‘I have another explanation, Elysia! He, Manger, the Wheezies, Lunar, Fatbottom and the rest have, to use the modern term, “chickened out”.’

‘And may I ask Rowan why would they do that?’

‘Um, well I mean, it stands to reason! I mean, they only defeated that vulgar little man Tom Riddle at their school – whereas we smote Aarin’s ruin back in Twinbrook!’

‘Um, yeah, sure… that puts things into perspective, dunnit?’

‘Hey excuse me, it was more me that did the smiting and ruining back in Twinbrook, the whole damn lot of it in fact with that bomb!’

‘That is beside the matter, Switch – the point is that we threw down the challenge and they have failed to make the appointment or to give due notice of decline, as is right and proper. Ergo, they have shamed their honour!’

‘Yeah, that’s probably it. They just couldn’t handle our awesomesauce!’

‘Awesomesauce? Is that some form of dressing made with radish?’

‘Oh shut up, Willow!’

‘Yeah everyone, we kick ass! Potter just got pwned! Right, off with that silly Slytherin T-shirt and back to my nice glowy Jazz-Hands one. Ninja wizard positions everyone – ho!’

‘Ow, Willow, watch the way you’re throwing your arms around!’

‘Oh, stop complaining, Rowan!’

‘ ♫ All the little pigs, they grunt and howl ♪ The cats mee-yow ♫ The dogs bow-wow ♪ Everybody makes a row ♫ Down on Jollity Farm! ♪ ‘

‘Cloverstardrop, will you stop using your wand as a conducting baton!’

* * * * *

For the benefit of anyone interested, we’ve tinkered with the wonderful Wizard Wand that Rakime on the EA Sims 3 Forum made and posted on her blog Simiversity to make it useable for both genders (since we needed it for planned stories).

Her version only worked with teen and adult males, and despite many, many requests, she never made it to work for females as well.

She now appears to have unfortunately dropped out of the Sims world altogether having not updated her blog since January 2010.

This really took little effort – only ten seconds in the TSR Workshop to put it right before uploading it here as a package file (so put in your C:\Users\user\Documents\Electronic Arts\The Sims 3\mods\packages folder).


If any of you want to thank her for making this very useful little piece of custom content in the first place, her page on the EA forum is:

If you want to gift her something by way of saying thank you, you know the name to gift to (remember she is Mexican and her English isn’t too good in any messages you may send her).

She appears to have dropped out of the Sims world in January 2010. You never know, you might help tempt another much missed Sims community member back.

Oh, and the Slytherin t-shirt, along with a stack of other such Harry Potter t-shirts and hooded tops rubbish can be found here at The Blog That Must Not Be Named (ie. The Mare’s Nest – EA Sims 3 Forum user’s joke – tee-hee-hee-hee!)

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