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Sorry, But Daenerys Targaryen Was In The Right Here (Season Eight, Episode Five)

14 May, 2019

The last moment of Season 8 Episode 4 of Game Of Thrones was the moment you knew Daenerys Targaryen, Mother of Dragons, Breaker of Chains, Breakfast of Champions was about to go No More Mister Nice Guy.

Can you blame her?

She’d lost the best part of her armed forces up north for little gratitude in return, everyone treating Jon Snow as the conquoring hero when in truth after another battle (one he clusterf**ked, in as usual) he was cowering behind a rock trying not to be turned into a giant popsicle by an undead Ice Dragon while she got to watch the only man who loved her unconditionally – Ser Jorah Mormont – die stab by stab, blow by blow, defending her to his last breath, after going through a pilgrim’s progress which would have broken most to get back to her.

It has finally dawned on her that a place of birth counts for nothing. She is a foreigner, an Essosian, with a foreign army none of whom share the same concepts of loyalty, trust and tradition as those in any part of Westeros. Her surviving Dothraki hordes concepts of war demand spoils afterwards – or they get upset. They’re nomadic like the Free Folk, so expecting them to settle down to the feudal system of Westeros is going to be difficult if not impossible. As for the Unsullied, her Pratorian Guard aren’t going to last forever, and what or who is going to be trained up to replace them?

To make matters worse, her boyfriend turned out to be her nephew (not even once or twice removed) and has a better claim to the Iron Throne. It doesn’t matter how much he protests he’s backing her to the last, it leaves her vulnerable so long as he lives to every plot and scheme to replace her when there’s a ready made replacement. The usually wise Varys demonstrated this – the one who took Tyrion across to Essos and sweet talked him into becoming her advisor.

Jon Snow-Aegon Targaryen has proven time after time a doughball with the tactical ability of a one move ahead chess player while Daenarys wins battles and conquors walled cities. Jon Snow has two victories to his name – Craster’s Keep and the attack on Castle Black by the Free Folk. Daenarys has meanwhile conquored most of Essos. The best claimant to a medieval throne is the one who can take it and hold it.

If Westerosians still believe having a cock overrides all other considerations (such as, um, conquering almost an entire continent with a ragtag army before you even land on Westeros) when it comes to the Iron Throne, it means anyone wanting to break the wheel is going to have to get as rough as the Romans or Normans did when invading Britain – to get the message across nice and clear that the only ‘old ways’ continuing are the ones she and only she agrees to.

From pragmatics to emotional reasons. She’s been made to feel further alone the last two episodes with the loss of another dragon in pointless fashion from sheer carelessness (the second time this happened) and worst of all losing her longest friend and confident Missandei, who died back in the very chains Daenarys swore to her and the Unsullied they’d never wear again.

When Missandei called out her last word – Dracarys! – she was calling to her Queen, to Grey Worm, to the Unsullied, to the Dothraki, to all of Daenarys followers to avenge her death which served no purpose other than a piece of evil petty spite by the evil petty Cersei Lannister towards her opponents, who like her bastard son Joffrey was only ever happy when making others unhappy simply to show she could. Honour alone demanded that Missandei’s memory be avenged.

(If that meant slaughtering everyone in King’s Landing … um, sorry but did anyone force them to go running through those gates inside to the ‘protection’ of the most hated person in Westeros? Meh, Darwin Award time here. Sympathy for innocent lives is one matter, sympathy for wilful stupidity of innocent lives is misplaced.)

There also lies another matter: on the battlements of King’s Landing did they demonstrate how they looked after their prisoners of war. Under such circumstances, why should they expect the same in return? As Daenarys said in a long overdue wake up call, when your opponents see your values as weaknesses to use against you, time to suspend them, no matter how much it hurts. It’s not a case of the ends justifies the means, simply the awful pragmatics of dealing with an opponent with no moral compass.

Last of all, there’s the matter of bloodlust in war. Game of Thrones is pretty accurate in depicting that civilians and prisoners of war alike are seldom treated well after a big battle, no matter how good the intent of commanders or the discipline of soldiers. The victorious may have won, but have lost good friends who will not be there to share a celebratory drink with them afterwards.

Soldiers in the field for too long go ‘kill simple’, and take little provocation to maltreat or butcher prisoners who minutes earlier they saw kill or hurt friends but now cannot touch because they’ve surrendered. War isn’t a game where you get to say ‘that’s it I’m not playing anymore’ once it’s not going your way without potential consequences.

Agincourt in 1415 saw some of the worst post-battle executions. The English army in the field hadn’t the numbers or wherewithal to keep prisoners save one or two knights worth high ransoms; feelings were high because the French had made it clear they would give no quarter towards longbow archers (which was regarded as an ‘atrocity’ weapon); it had been a particularly brutal encounter over three hours, during which King Henry V had received an axe blow to the head which only his helmet saved him from certain death; and despite their losses, the French were already regrouping with their reserves for another potential attack, whereupon no one could be spared to guard those captured. Slaughtering prisoners en masse in such a context was a matter of pragmatism, and there’s no more brutal pragmatism than in war.

Anyway, you don’t have to guard or feed a corpse, simply bury it, burn it, or if you’re Ramsey Snow Bolton feed it to your dogs.

With this in mind, go back now and imagine what it would be like to be Daenarys Targaryen on her last dragon Drogon on some King’s Landing roof. She offered a peaceful, bloodless surrender, the reply was the beheading of her last true friend.

She’s tired, upset, hasn’t eaten for days, and wants the war she’s feels she’s been fighting most of her adult life to be over one way or another, because no matter what happens she’s not going to be the conquering heroine, she’s not going to get a happy-ever-after, she’s realised the personal price for her victory was never going to be worth what it cost but only when it was too late.

Yet at enormous risk, she begins the attack on King’s Landing single handed, the very last action anyone expected her to do, least of all her opponents. She comes out of the sun and uses Drogon’s speed and turn to out-manouevre the entire Iron Fleet with their Scorpion ballistas which are slow to turn manually.

After barbequing the lot, she does the same to the ballistas on the King’s Landing battlements, again at enormous risk to herself and Drogon (who, you may remember came off the worst in a battle with Bronn before), smashes the expensively assembled Golden Company in two sweet passes, and for her final trick, blows open the gates to King’s Landing.

Did you read that last bit? Blows open the gates to King’s Landing. The bell had not rung when she did so, it took an awful lot of slaughter and mayhem before finally and very late in the day people began shouting out ring the bells – when it was already too late.

The moment those gates were blown, it was Game Over – Insert Coin.

Remember the Siege of Riverrun with a certain Jaime Lannister kicking out the Tullys without anyone being killed (except the Blackfish for being a silly old fool)?

Remember the warning Tyrion Lannister gave to the King’s Landing troops at the Battle of Blackwater about what would happen when Stannis’ army breached the gates?

‘This is your city Stannis means to sack. That’s your gate he’s ramming. If he gets in, it will be your houses he burns, your gold he steals, your women he will rape.’

It is a long established law of chivalry (the moral and social code of medieval martial arts which Game Of Thrones draws heavily from) that by the rules of siege warfare if a besieged castle or settlement is offered just terms of surrender (ie. no slaughter of prisoners, care of the sick and wounded) and refuses to do so before its gates are breached, the ‘no quarter’ rule applies.

This is in order to reduce lives lost by defenders holding out against an army they cannot realistically hold out against or see the siege lifted.

A famous example was after the 1314 Battle of Bannockburn where the English garrison refused to allow the fleeing King Edward II to enter Stirling Castle, since the terms of a truce on the siege upon it was that it would be relieved by an army within a hundred days, or they would surrender. That relieving army had been vanquished. The castellan Philip de Mowbray and his men were outlawed by Edward II for doing so, with the result when the castle was surrendered to the Scots as promised, King Robert the Bruce granted those in the castle land elsewhere and the right to live in Scotland the rest of their lives in peace as honour demanded.

(Edward II’s lack of proper chivalric conduct contributed to his deposition and regicide at the hands of his nobles, but that’s another topic)

Another was the siege of Skipton Castle, where Cromwell’s forces did not realise they were trying to blow up walls thirty five feet thick. After three years and the Royalist forces beaten everywhere else in England, they only got the castle to agree surrender terms in December 1645 when the defenders had run out of lead from the roof to make shot for the matchlock guns Lady Alice Clifford loaded herself for her troops. They were allowed to leave with their banners raised and without being made prisoners, since Cromwell did not wish to continue a costly siege as part of a war Parliament had already won.

Return now to Daenarys Targaryen and Drogon on that King’s Landing roof. She’s won, finally won the whole damn War of the Five Kingdoms, but only after more needless bloody slaughter, and a Lannister Army which only dropped their weapons and rung the bells when it was clear the battle was lost. A Lannister Army which had exterminated the Tyrrells without mercy, as they had House Reyne. Only a fool would show mercy to an army which marched to ‘The Rains of Castarmere’?

In the position she was in, with the emotions going through her at that time, to say nothing of her own armed forces with their own losses, could you really blame them for deciding, at that moment in time, wiping King’s Landing off the face of the earth (or at least a sizeable chunk) was right and just?

Those tell tale green plumes of wildfire going up at various points also made it looks pretty clear Cersei was preparing to blow up the city if it looked like Daenarys was about to win it anyway (same as Daenarys’ dad planned to do) – or as a booby trap once her army was encamped inside in an attempt to turn the tide. Cersei’s inner circle had no qualms about blowing up the King’s Landing Sept to kill all her enemies and ‘meh! whatever!’ if a few peasants got killed in the process. Which again made for a terrible pragmatism to burning the whole place down to protect her own forces.

Brutal, morally repugnent, but in terms of military and political strategy, in retrospect Daenarys made a fair judgement call , no matter what Jon Snow and his goldfish gob thinks.

Besides, didn’t she owe The Lord of Light some recompense for surviving two episodes back by making King’s Landing go up a treat?

Hope Not Hate Got It COMPLETELY Wrong About Far-Right For Britain Movement’s ‘Complete Failure’ – And Now They’ve Got Two Councillors Elected!

3 May, 2019

From earlier this evening on the Hope Not Hate Twitter page:

What happened? What just f**king happened?

They won two seats – one being in HARTLEPOOL!

You haven’t a f**king CLUE about what’s going on about the far-right or anything else, do you?

You make it up as you go along, bluffing and blustering about being anti-racism/anti-fascism ‘experts’ to the media and politicians both too lazy and stupid to fact check for themselves, but then something like this happens and it proves you have about as much of a bollocks about your ‘specialist’ field as those twats who pretend to be ghost hunters spouting shit about ‘orbs’ and whatever.

You’re a menace to anti-racism – do the whole world a favour and F**K OFF!

Local Election Bullshit (And The VERY Strange Tale Of Convicted Fraudster Timothy Ahlbeck aka Miles Prestland-Windsor aka Jonathan Briggis)

2 May, 2019

It’s local election day in England and Northern Ireland.

As per usual, the air is filled not with the sweet smell of democracy and freedom, but the overwhelming stench of bullshit.

Oh, you mean Irvine Welsh who lives as a tax exile in Miami, Florida, having previously lived in Dublin also to dodge Britain’s tax rates for the rich? What a hypocrite!

State of the parties (what a state!)

Down in Tinhatopia, what’s left of the British National Party is crying about Facebook banning them now that no one is interested in them so Zuckerberg’s not losing out on any advertising revenue in doing so.

Every little helps when you want to pretend you have a social conscience, and banning a completely irrelevent party is rather like a local council refusing to let a cinema show a screening of ‘A Clockwork Orange’ now it has joined the ranks of late night TV duvet stuffers along with other ‘classics’ of British cinema (or to use the technical term, ‘bargain bucket’)

Considering Facebook was all part of the Judaeo-Islamic-Masonic-Martian-Night King, etc. conspiracy (or whatever it is which is the favourite flavour of ‘bonkers plot’ among far right loons this week), you’d have thought they’d be pleased. Why were they on it anyway if they’re so convinced they’re out to get them?

However the natives (or should that be Nativists?) are more restless over the non-running of the party.

That’s not to say the BNP doesn’t still have a purpose – if only as a man-creche for Garry Fishlock to pretend he has an audience wanting to read his rantings about antique conspiracy theories and Star Trek. ‘The Protocols Of The Learned Elders Of Klingon’ anyone?

The biggest mystery for members is who is standing for them in the local elections. The party hasn’t told them, Hope Not Hate aren’t really monitoring it anymore as it’s no longer the cool ‘big bad’ with ‘the kids’, so they haven’t a clue – no change there.

It’s certainly a pretty turn of events when the John Tyndall Fan Club masquerading under the name National Front (and unfortunately also based on WordPress – boo, hiss!) look the better organised racist headbangers for elections than the BNP for the first time in two decades. At least they know they have three candidates and where they are standing – even if they can’t spell it. It’s the Todmorden ward, Calderdale; not Tomorden.

Todmorden is one of England’s more fascinating places, a settlement since pagan times recorded in the Doomsday Book which has alternated between being part of Lancashire and Yorkshire. Despite its size, due to the needs of nearby mills, it once had six railway stations (!) and was the scene of the still unexplained murder of Zigmund Adamski by unknown causes, with everything from Vladimir Putin to a hostile UFO being blamed. Perhaps that’s why the NF thought they’d find an audience here, if so it’ll have to do a whole lot better than the 145 (0.9%!) of the vote they got four years ago last time they stood only for the Todmorden Town Council. They’re up against Tory, Labour, Lib Dem and Green candidates, and it’s pretty safe to say the NF has last place sewn up here.

They may have made headlines by standing in Burnley (or at least the Burnley Express – slow news week, boys?), but considering it’s been five years since they last stood any candidate there and have done no groundwork, fourth out of four (with Tory, Labour and Green competition) looks assured – especially as it is the only seat the far better organised Greens are fighting. The real question here is whether the hippies will beat the Tories – it’s the Labour council leader’s seat, safe as houses, so locals may feel confident enough to do some protest voting.

The only one of the three seats the NF’s done any work for is Ecclesfield East, Sheffield, where its deputy lout Jordan Pont is standing in a ward which surprised everyone last year during a bad night for Labour in Steel City they somehow took a seat in this ward off the imploded UKIP. Someone at NF HQ (nor Hope Not Hate as per usual) hasn’t done their homework, because Pont is also standing for Ecclesfield Parish Council. Two seats up for grabs, two Labour candidates and two LibDems – you can see why the NF’s got its finger out for this one as this is their best chance to scoop up the reactionary Tory and ‘vote for the candidate which pisses off the rest the most’ vote.

It can forget about the City Council seat of Ecclesfield East – eight candidates, Tory, Lab, LibDem, UKIP, Greens, plus the Yorkshire Party (long running minor party wanting a Yorkshire assembly with the same powers as those in Scotland and Wales). The only eyebrow raiser in Sheffield is the complete vanishment of the Social Democratic Party, who appeared without warning all over the place a few years back and now have vanished entirely just as the party has come back to minor mainstream media interest after gaining a defecting MEP.

The Democrats and Veterans Party (another of those ‘patriotic parties for people who don’t want to look like nazis’ which are ten a penny today) make up the bulk of the off-the-wall candidates this time out. Expect the donkey shaggers alliance to be destined for last place as usual.

We are constantly told that there is a dangerous rise of the far-right in the UK. The reality is they’re non-existent, save for a few localised thugs or internet trolls like Count Dankula and Sargon of Akkad getting ideas above their basement. Hardly anything that will keep HnH and Searchlight in their jobs – time to get your CVs updated boys, as times are looking hard at mill!

Apparently the (wait for it!) Democratic Football Lads Alliance is the next one self-styled anti-fascists are saying we all need to watch out for. Four decades since ‘war on the terraces’, and still the far-left and far-right (two cheeks of the same arse) live in their Last Days of Weimar, Last Days Of The Spanish Republic daydreams of violent ‘street politics’ shaping a nation’s destinies in the internet age.

On the subject of conspiracy theorists, it’s not only tinhat morons swallowing that crap. It’s gone mainstream, but all too often it is the very people screeching the loudest warnings who peddle them. The Guardian are obvious – every story about anyone or anything pro-Brexit these days will somehow have a ‘dark’ side to it. For a bunch looking for racism 24/7, funny it happily uses the ‘dark colour equals evil’ trope at every chance.

But Open Democracy are something else. For a bunch dedicated to ‘free thinking’ (and that’s my Butterfly of Doom idea you nicked you skeets!), that does not apply if anyone dares to think anything else but liberal left. Give UnHerd and Spiked! their due, at least their platforms are ‘accept nothing, question everything’ in practice not only principle. Either it’s all up for question and scrutiny, or you’re wasting your time. As the unfolding disaster of Labour and the Green Party’s anti-Semitism proved, turning a blind eye to the good guys behaving like the bad guys is about more than surrendering a moral high ground. No one is going to back change when the strains of ‘meet the new boss, looks like the old boss’ resonate.

Same old Loonies in charge

Meanwhile, over in Bolney, West Sussex, despite their pleas for mercy and some else to come forward for election to the parish council, yet again it has been uncontested, which means a mere two decades later after he first won his seat they are still stuck with Official Monster Raving Loony Party member Baron Von Thunderclap as a councillor, and having to register him on their official site under the designation he stood under rather than plain old Peter Berry.

Must do wonders for local house prices!

The OMRLP tried to do a bit of baiting of Farage over the forthcoming Peterborough by-election after the electorate sacked the previous MP by Parliamentary petition (first time ever in history!).

One minor snag:

R U Seerius, once a parish councillor in Derbyshire for the OMRLP (until expelled for non-attendance), stated on the same day on the party’s website that they are still to pick the candidate. In all likelihood it will be Fatso Hope again, the Hermann Goering of Loonyism and twice as useless, still somehow in charge despite being called out for being racist by The Guardian – oh hang on, that’s why everyone ignored it. His cosying up to UKIP when run by Farage caused one regular candidate, John Cartwright of Croydon, to leave the party in disgust.

But good to see the OMRLP and BNP both appear to have much the same difficulties of no one having a clue what’s going on in their own parties. They would make for the sort of pedigree chums our mainstream parties would have so much in common with if looking for coalition partners to preside over another local and national government dog’s breakfast.

All stand for Screaming Lord Dr Timothy Miles Prestland-Windsor Jonathan Briggis, 18th Duke of Ahlbeck (preferably in a court of law)

But the looniest candidate in the local council elections has to be one Timothy Ahlbeck down in lovely Paignton, Devon – home of the late and much missed anthropomorphic fiction author and naturalist Brian Carter (his A Black Fox Running was to foxes and In The Long Dark to feral cats what Watership Down was to rabbits).

His election address says ‘Honesty and Transparency are of the utmost importance to me, in order that you, the public, are made aware of local issues and can be better involved in the decision making that affects your livelihood.’

The irony is he failed recently in court at Exeter to stop the local press reporting on his less than honest or transparant past.

Dr Timothy Ahlbeck alias Miles Prestland-Windsor alias Jonathan Briggis is a bit ‘special.’ Since 2002, he’s run up a slurry of convictions and prison sentences for everything from cheque scams and burglary to a bomb hoax.

He changed his name from Miles Prestland-Windsor (itself a new alias by deed poll!) after being banned from being a company director for fifteen years and receiving a one year suspended jail sentence in April 2014, after setting up internet and phone accounts for a fictional company and then tried to pay for them by using the bank details of another fictitious business.

He even rented six offices including a 32-seat call centre in Manchester to make himself look legitimate. According to the Manchester Evening News, the property company lost over £100,000 and the credit company his used to initially pay for it were left £70,000 out of pocket with nothing to show but egg on their face.

He has eighteen supposed companies registered at Companies House currently, even though he is meant to be banned from being a company director. For one – A&M Group Holdings – he claims to be a Lord of German nationality, and his most recent one Nutrisup Ltd (11868882) was only registered in March 2019.

Isn’t Companies House supposed to be checking on people registering as company directors to make sure skeets like this can’t do this? No wonder Britain is overrun with con-artists when someone disqualified from being a company director until 7 April 2029 can run up eighteen companies.

If you think that is bad, he was also running another eight in Scotland – which has its own separate Companies register and no facility for cross checking with its bigger counterpart in London.

Judge Roger Dutton described Ahlbeck/Prestland-Windsor as a ‘miserable fantasist‘ who ‘left for years a trail of debt behind you … You have become an expert con merchant taking out contracts that there was never any intention to pay and gaining some benefits from them…. you should not be allowed through the door of any institution that deals with money. You are a fraudster. Other people have to be protected from your wrongdoing.”

Sounds like he’d be perfect in local government – amazing the Tory-Lab-LibDems didn’t start a bidding war for his services!

But perhaps the House Of Lords is more his forté, after all, he claims to be one.

Yes, according to Company Check, he has a ‘total current net worth of £1.1 million’ – and if you believe that, you’re even more deluded than he is – a small lesson for those of you out there ever tempted to check someone’s creditworthiness from some internet website rather than a proper accredited financial institution.

Ahlbeck is standing for the Roundham with Hyde ward on Torbay Council tonight, two seats up for grabs with eight candidates vying (two Tories, two LibDems, two Greens, and one from UKIP). Would love to be a fly on the wall at the count tonight when that result is read out, and considering the heavy police presence around election counts it is doubtful Ahlbeck is likely to turn up as Mr Plod is now wanting him to be helping with their enquiries into certain breeches of the Companies Act which have been brought to their attention!

As If It Couldn’t Get Worse For The Post-Farage Kippers – Now Career Internet Trolls ENDORSE Them!

30 April, 2019

UKIP is simply the gift which keeps on giving.

After the success of the Brexit referendum, there was nowhere left for them to go, support crashed and it went through more leaders than Hogwarts goes through Defence Against The Dark Arts teachers. All which kept it going was a lack of alternative choices for the little kippers to swim to, and the prospect Nigel Farage – politics cross-pollination of Al Murray’s The Pub Landlord with Mr Bean – would one day return as threatened if those in Parliament did everything they could to stop Brexit from happening.

Which they did, so he did.

Except it was to a brand new party, the Brexit Party.

For in the interim, UKIP was taking on board a lot of human rubbish from the imploded British far right left with nowhere else to go – the BNP and NF now at the stage they have difficulty getting anyone to even sign their nomination papers at election time.

Those in UKIP who wanted somewhere else to go as a result, now found somewhere else to go. Bye bye UKIP and 5%, hello Brexit Party and first place on 28% in the polls.

To make it worse, UKIP are even adopting YouTube trolls as candidates, under the absurd logic that as they had viewers it would give them a better chance of doing well. The concept such candidates would put even more people off than ever for voting for them did not appear to register.

But even in their wildest nightmares, never did UKIP ever imagine their South West England European Parliamentary candidate Carl Benjamin, aka internet troll Sargon of Akkad, would be so moronic as to say to a political opponent ‘I wouldn’t even rape you,’ thinking this made for edgy satire.

It makes no difference that the target – Labour MP Jess Phillips – is a skeet with an ego so large moons orbit it. This is never an acceptable comment to make in any circumstances, let alone as part of supposed political discourse.

So angry were some remaining kippers about it and Benjamin’s lack of remorse (for an encore, he threw in some edgy ‘I don’t give a s**t about the Holocaust’ remarks to Jewish newspapers), the party’s Gloucestershire website was taken down by the registered owner in protest, six UKIP Branch Chairs in Gloucestershire, all three adopted Parliamentary candidates, the County Chairman and the South West Regional Chairman all resigned from the party.

To almost crown it, the chair of the Swindon UKIP branch – which had this Sargon of Akkad forced on them by HQ – had enough when Mr Controversial said on YouTube ‘I can be quoted as saying you can f*** young boys. It’s actually not as controversial as you think. Depends on the child, doesn’t it?’

Could it get any worse for UKIP, two days to polling day in the local elections?

How does being endorsed by career trolls forum Kiwi Farms grab you, whose members are as devoid of basic human empathy as they are of basic hygiene.

Wow, are these crazy days we are living in! There is now a political party in the UK which is even more stupid and evil than the current John Tyndall Fan Club version of the National Front, a stunning blow for them to be sure since that piece of notoriety was about all it had left. The only way it can regain their covetted place of worst of the worse after this is if it announced its next slate of election candidates included Cersei Lannister – best hurry though, as with three weeks of Game Of Thrones left she might not be alive that long!

Lyanna Mormont: In Tribute To Game Of Thrones’ Queen Of Shade

20 April, 2019

For someone with only four actual speaking scenes in the entire show (and one scowl-of-unspeakable-death scene), it shows how powerful a character Bella Ramsey’s Lady Lyanna Mormont has been in Game Of Thrones.

Her entire family and almost all her men wiped out at the Red Wedding, the Bear Island Battleaxe has made up for lack of numbers and being a child ruler of a minor house by carving herself a niche as Westero’s undisputed Queen of Shade, telling Stannis Baratheon to piss off by curt raven reply to his call to her to bend the knee back in Season 5 and being even more insulting to Jon Snow and Sansa Stark the season after in person.

That didn’t stop her backing Jon Snow and telling the rest of the northerners to grow a pair and do the same the season after.

Of course, now she’s a little upset at how events have panned out.

She’s of course threatened to take up arms in defence of the realm against the undead, and there was some hopes for a team up with her and the show’s other tiny terror – Arya Stark – when both started adopting the same wardrobe on the show.

All she needs now is a rapier sword, a dragonglass dagger and a cookbook on how to turn her enemies into pies and she’s all set.

It’s clear Arya sees a kindred spirit.

And now it appears she’s about to make good her pledge to have every man, woman, boy and girl from Bear Island ready to fight.

Brilliant! Can’t wait for the next episode already!

Some Game Of Thrones Thoughts

18 April, 2019

The Night King’s progress

If they were really going for Winterfell, why not take the Kings Road? It’s quicker than marching across country and with the advantage of being able to slaughter any mortal they encounter on the way to add to their forces.

After blowing up Eastwatch, the White Walkers destroyed House Umber’s stronghold Last Hearth. They didn’t bother wheeling around and attacking Castle Black from the near. If the White Walkers motivation is killing all mortals to add to their army as has been assumed, why avoid picking off a small but noteable garrison of warriors?

Come to that, they ignored Samwell Tarly when they had him at their mercy several seasons back and marched on past him.

Unless of course despite their slow progress (it was across tundra, mind you), the White Walkers are working to a strict plan and time table – rendered stricter by the discovery the mortals have got dragons. So has the Night King now, but only one. He has no idea whether Daenarys has more than the three he saw.

His army is now vulnerable as the mortals have learned all you have to do is kill any White Walker (the wrinkly Jeremy Corbyn lookalikes) and whatever wights they’ve created (the shambling skeletal figures) are destroyed with them. Weight of numbers is no longer an advantage.

The Night King’s best bet, therefore, is head south, and fast. Leave the grand alliance at Winterfell to freeze and starve waiting for an attack that’s not coming.

If the Night King is any sort of stratagist (and he’s had a few thousand years to brood on his last defeat and where he went wrong), he’ll head south, kill whoever is left in the Dreadfort and Hornwood so as not to betray his position, and make for White Harbor – the citadel of all that Maester knowledge on the old times and how to defeat White Walkers.

He may chose to split his army, send a force to sacrifice themselves against Winterfell to keep those inside convinced a bigger army is coming.

Once he takes the Moat Cailin (the traditional chokepoint between north and south Westeros in an area covered in marsh), the north is trapped and the south at his mercy, a south without dragons or dragonglass. No army has ever taken Moat Cailin by attacking from the south.

Past Moat Cailin and the marshes of the neck lies plenty of forest land where an undead army can hide and shelter away from dragon attacks, all the while pressing further south, killing to add to their numbers, as winter bites harder weakening and starving their opponents.

Cersei’s stupidity knows no bounds

Cersei in her usual overconfidence has been busy building up an army to defeat a mortal one, not an undead one – and she used up the Alchemist Guild’s remaining store of wildfire (the only realistic weapon left against the White Walkers) to destroy the Great Sept of Baelor and a number of surrounding buildings at King’s Landing. It has never occured to her the Night King may choose to attack her first – which would explain the visions everyone’s been having of a wrecked snow covered capital. The work of a certain undead dragon perhaps?

Even within the field of villainous leaders, whether real life or fiction, it’s possible to sort the Lenins and Mussolinis from the Hitlers and Stalins, or the General Woundworts from the Voldemorts. Cersei is up there with every stupid and cruel leader there ever was who enjoyed an unnatural amount of success owning to events largely outside of their own control, but in their narcissism took to be divine providence.

Cersei Lannister has the worst superiority complex in the whole show, earned in the worst manner – that of who she was in the first place – and fails to understand it. Because of her marriage to the king, because of her father Tywin, because of her two sons on the throne whom she wanted to be her puppets, because of the Lannister gold mines. All of which are gone.

Yet she still believes she can bribe, bluff and brutalise her way to staying on the Iron Throne. When she told Littlefinger ‘power is power’ in a rather crude demonstration of strength at the Red Keep, she proved how little she understands it, except in the crude fashion of a bully. She wanted war elephants which the Dothraki horseriders would have made short work of (worked example: the various Mongolian Khans against every single army the Indian subcontinent was ever foolish enough to put into the field against it – speed and manoeurvability wins battles, seldom brute strength).

Contrast with Varys warning to Tyrion Lannister that ‘power lies where people believe it lies – it’s a trick,’ observe the story arcs of Tyrion, Jon Snow – and Daenery.

Daenerys lapses into hoity toityness are jarring when she gets too Targaryan for her own good – forgetting she earned her massive following precisely by making sure everyone underestimated her at every turn in order to get their true measure before crushing them (as most of Essos now knows to its cost), and her Spartacus persona is as much her selling point as the dragons and the Dothraki hordes.

Yet the moment she realised North Westeros wasn’t exactly welcoming her arrival, and that the Lady of Winterfell, Sansa Stark, certainly didn’t want her around any longer than she had to put up with, her response was taking Jon Snow on a dragon ride ostensibly right over the citadel where perhaps the fate of the whole continent will be decided. There they saw Snow riding with she who would be queen, on a dragon of his own, as equals. The message to those below could not have been clearer – she was not going to be another awful southern based ruler only interested in bossing them about, but one wanting to take them higher and further than previous rulers had ever before.

Anyone who says people dislike Cersei because she’s a ‘strong woman’ are up those with those who come up with excuses for all manner of awful leaders for reasons other than their leadership incapabilities. Usually because they find them hot, either sexually or because they conceptualise leadership as sanctioning cruelty for the pleasure of demonstating the ability to do so. Game Of Thrones is overrun with strong women characters. The strongest two, Brianne of Tarth – the very paragon of a medieval knight tied to the code of chivalry – and Arya Stark don’t even require a gang of flunkies like all the other supposed powerful in the realm. Both have slaughtered those who wronged them and had whole armies to protect them – all by their own hand.

Name one event Cersei has managed that was by her own hand only rather than getting others to do her dirty work for her. Her constant wine drinking epitomises who and what she is – a parasite living off the hard work of others.

When she exploded the Great Sept of Baelor, she not only wiped out the Tyrells bar Olenna (the Queen of Thorns), but the High Council bar Qyburn, and Ser Kevan Lannister – a highly respected war hero, the brother of Tywin, and Hand of the King at the time of his death. Cersei had him killed off with all the others because he dared to disagree and refuse to be one of her puppets. With Casterly Rock having fallen, a Lannister army slaughtered by the Dothraki at little loss to themselves, and the only Lannister left those in the Lannister owned Westerlands still respected and trusted now dead at the hands of the queen, this is someone that’s run out of friends. Even Jaime’s now left her, and Euron Greyjoy’s about to lose the Iron Islands he’s left undefended.

All she has left largely are mercenaries – and as Stannis Baratheon discovered to his cost, they’ve got a habit of turning their back if their employer turns out to be a headcase.

Is Qyburn about to betray another employer?

You know an army of the dead is coming because you’ve been told the Wall has been smashed at Eastwatch. Your employer expresses delight.

The mercenary army turned out to be smaller than the brochure promised.

The captain of your employer’s navy couldn’t even keep their ships guarded properly.

While Captain Clott and Bitch Queen are shagging away her disappointment about no elephants, you go off and tell another mercenary that Bitch Queen wants the brother she’s been shagging since childhood and the other brother killed with the crossbow which killed the father she’d fallen out with hours earlier after.

There’s a big barrow of gold waiting outside as upfront payment.

This mercenary is one that has shared combat and saved the lives of both brothers in the past.

That the whole operation was heard by a Lannister soldier of course, was also rather unfortunate. Jaime being very popular for staying with them and almost getting himself killed during the Battle of the Gold Road.

Which means Qyburn is very, very stupid, or is hoping Bronn heads north with gold Cersei cannot afford to lose to confirm her treachery – and the only man capable of leading her armies with any remote chance of success has gone. Perhaps with some of the army with him.

Ever got that feeling someone’s decided a certain employer is more trouble than she’s worth?

People likely to do something VERY STUPID in the next two episodes

10/1 – Jon Snow, Daenarys Targaryan, Tyrion Lannister, Euron Greyjoy, Theon Greyjoy and Cersei Lannister.

Remainder 20/1 Bar.

Nice Plagerism Reddit: Jazz-Hands Has Been Roasting Sweet Succulent Grannies For Almost A Decade

18 April, 2019

Meh! Johnny come latelies! Amateurs!