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Happy Super Blood Wolf Moon Morning!

21 January, 2019

Permission to squee has been granted

Steve Hackett, You F**king ARSEHOLE – Doing A Cruelty To Tarantulas Promotional Video For Your Next Album!

19 January, 2019

I am beyond angry about this (in tears), and it says a lot about YouTube this shit has been allowed to stay up beyond twenty four hours.

The third and final video for Steve Hackett’s forthcoming album ‘At The Edge Of Light’ came out yesterday, for the track ‘Beasts In Our Time.’

One minute and eleven seconds into the video, a man sees his daughter afraid of a tarantula. How does he deal with it? Show her it was harmless? Trap and remove it? No, he crushes the spider in his hand and throws it away like it was a piece of rubbish!

Coming from a musician who likes to flaunt planet friendly eco-credentials, this is beyond f**king belief!

I’m fond of spiders. I admit it took a while to be. I understand people are scared of them – used to be myself, until I watched one spin a web outside my classroom window one rainy afternoon many years ago, and felt guilty for ever having hated and feared something which could produce something of such delicate, exquisite beauty.

But you live and let live – and actively encouraging people to be cruel to spiders as ‘normal’ behaviour is as shitty as encouraging people to torment animals (or worse) on the internet for hits.

There’s a lot of people who keep tarantulas as pets – and that undoubtedly WAS a pet tarantuala, bred in captivity for the purpose, which was used in the video. How do you think they feel about people posting shit where tarantulas are made to fight with other spiders, or wasps, or other cruel shit, then some touchy-feely ‘artist’ does something like this!

A pet tarantuala, killed to make a poxy pop video for an artist whose last album I loved to bits. Thanks a bunch, you skeet!

The blurb accompanying this song says :‘the track ‘Beasts In Our Time’ is the main thrust of this album, exposing fear, greed and intolerance.’

All the video exposes is the immature fear and intolerance of spiders from morons whose knowledge of one of the most important parts of our eco-system appears to have been derived from far too many late night Hammer Horror movies.

In the British Isles since medievel times, we have a saying: ‘IF YOU WISH TO LIVE AND THRIVE, LET THE SPIDER RUN ALIVE!’ – in the days before pesticides, the spider was the best protector from disease carrying, food despoiling, crop ruining flies and beetles. Their webs were used to staunch wounds sustained in battle or from accidents (loaded with blood clotting Vitamin K, many of our ancestors owe their lives to some conveniently nearby spider’s web), and are still used in both medicine and optimetrics.

In California, it is the Black Widow spider’s messy cobswebs over the grape crops which provide the best protection against parasites than any pesticides. They may be feared for their venom, but there are many Americans who owe a lack of a cockroach infestation to some busy black widow (or some other spider’s web in the cellar, or any one of the many varieties of wolf spider) for ensuring these disgusting disease spreaders don’t get past first base.

Across the world, many types of frog live in close proximity to large spiders such as the tarantula for mutual protection – the frogs eat up the ants and small insects which prey on the tarantulas and their eggs (including certain types of wasp), and the tarantulas are a deterrent to snakes, rodents and other creatures which prey on the frogs. They can coexist and work with other creatures. However with humans it is all too often one way – as exemplified by this stupid video.

If you are on Twitter, let these morons know this sort of shit is not on – ever!

https://twitter.com/genesis_news/status/1086569325836816385

https://twitter.com/HackettOfficial/status/1086209498967146496

info@hackettsongs.com – Hackett’s website

or: Hackett Songs, 5 Bure Way, Aylsham, Norfolk, NR11 6HL.

The Lonely Island Chronicles: Episode 11 – Five, Almost Six Years Later…

1 January, 2019

Lonely Island was created and owned by Rflong7/13, but was taken over by some undead Simmies for a bit of peace and quiet after involuntary resurrection from Ivy Hill Graveyard. It includes some others escaping from their own ‘life issues’, and is a sanctuary for the much maligned Butterfly of Doom and many other misunderstood species of Sims nature.

It’s been a long while, yet the residents of Rflong7/13’s Lonely Island are still there making the best of things, and the Jazz-Hands Gnubb Club (with its underground swimming pool, band space and other amusements) is still its central hub.

‘Hello, I am Elysia Knaith, Chargés d’Affaires ad nauseum and current First Speaker of the Lonely Island Wotchyamacaulit – the ruling council of the island and its dependencies – and I live by one of the many splendid beaches which Lonely Island has to offer the discerning tourist seeking quiet contemplation in idyllic surroundings.

‘Our community has gone through many trials and tribulations over the years, but here we remain, self sufficient and now an exporter of fine foodstuffs, music, arts and – um – other things perhaps best not brought up in polite conversation.

‘Here on Lonely Island we’ve shown that there’s a useful role to the wider Simmie society to be played by we – ahem! – involuntarily resurrected: what used to be referred to as livormorts, but we prefer the term Argyrians now as a little less morbid sounding.’

‘I still say it makes you sound like monsters from Doctor Who!’

‘Hush, Haily! Arrumph, as I was saying, We may be all from different background, shapes, sizes, opinions, um … lifestates … whatever – but together we have worked to build the harmonious community we are so proud of today.’

Undead freak? You’re calling me an undead freak?’

‘ – and we still all love to come together when the opportunity provides to knock a few Gnubb sticks around and chew the rag.’

‘Listen witless Whitsun Winterbottom, I’d rather be an undead freak than a brain dead dunghill with a ten gallon hat on a half pint head!’

‘And, um, occasionally lose the rag as well – which in Hazel Tyneham’s case is a rare event may I add. Usually it’s Rowan that dishes out the family’s insults.

‘But look! there’s young Shrove Winterbottom with Switch Cloverstardropper. Now they occasionally have their differences, but that’s never stopped them from remaining civil to one another.’

‘ – and I’m telling you for the last time, or else, stop calling me Pancake!’

‘Alright, I’ll call you F**KFACE instead!’

‘Um, yes, well, ahem, things can sometimes get a little, um, overheated – we are a passionate bunch out here as you would expect in a community of talented artisans over many important matters’ ***cough!*** [mutters] Gordon bleeding Bennett couldn’t they all have bloody behaved just for one day? ‘As you can see over there, Diggory Winterbottom and Grigor Gasterlich are discussing as ever important matters of international commerce and high finance.’

‘ – and quite aside from the television which left my wife traumatised, that crummy watch you sold me Ghastly keeps time worse than a drunken drummer the few times I’ve actually got it to work – and you said both had lifetime guarantees!’

‘My dear Diggory! This is most concerning! Have you saw a doctor? Consulted with a mainland hospital?’

‘A doctor? What’s a doctor got to do with this?’

‘Why, if I – Grigor Gasterlich, international entrepreneur and philanthropist – have sold you items with lifetime guarantees, and these misfortunes have occured, there can only be one rational explanation: you must be seriously ill!’

‘You see what’s happened to this place Elysia Knaith ever since you took charge? I came here with my family seven years ago to seek a more ecologically sustainable way of life, mindfulness and to find ourselves.

‘Instead, we found ourselves stuck on a plumbobbing pirates’ cove, surrounded by invading escaped zombie smurfs, escaped crooks, escaped sociopaths and escaped psychopaths – or those who are a combination of each!

‘What sort of low down, sleezy, corrupt cesspit has this place become?’

‘The FINEST in the whole Simming world – making us the Simmies we are today!’ ***wobbles bottom lip***

Haily ‘Skeletal Screams’ Farber tends to get all patriotic at times like this.

An escapee from Haunted Valley Sanitorium (she is the only Simmie whose psychosis resulted in an international treaty agreeing to her permanent incarceration as a danger to all carbon based lifeforms’ physical and mental health), she’s been holed up ironically in another of Rflong7/13’s lands ever since!

‘At least Diggory’s boho wife Felicity is able to get on with the undead islanders a little better.’

‘Look Diggory darling, look, I’m actually winning against Willow Tyneham – the island champion!’

Willow’s in one of her cruel moods today – she’s letting Felicity have a head start and build up her hopes before embarking on her routine destruction of most who plays her. Again out of character – she’s the only one on the island almost as stark raving bonkers as Haily – but the Winterbottoms tend to bring out the worst in the Tynehams.

Diggory isn’t the only one complaining.

‘Why are we still staying here in this free range lunatic asylum!’

‘Because we’ve still got international warrants for our arrests issued by the Council of the United Nations of The Sims for revenue tax evasion in Sunset Valley, Riverview, Bridgeport, Starlight Shores, Lucky Palms, Hidden Springs, Roaring Heights, Sunlit Tides, Monte Vista, Shang Simla, Champs Les Sims and Al Simhara after that damn accountancy firms arrangements for the world tours for The Sarcastic Badgers, The Key Cutters, The Catwampus Imperative and Daisy Disaster were all found to be fraudulent. They’re all doing 10 000 years in jail – and that was on appeal!’

‘But the only reason for coming here to this glorified nature reserve was in getting ourselves elected onto the island’s running council and put in charge we’d acquire diplomatic immunity – now we’ve voted off there’s nothing to stop them coming here after us.’

‘Only if Elysia lets them come on – and she’s not gonna do that! She’s given me her word.’

‘And you trust her?’

‘Um – you really didn’t need to be hearing any of that. They were just – ahahaha! – rehearsing their lines for a new play – yes, that’s it! –  our local thespian Smedley Bracegirdle is organising – Casting Spreadsheets On The Waves or something like that.’

‘Nice try, Pinocchio. Ruff-ruff! I’m a little woof-woof and I like doggy…’

‘YES THANK YOU HAILY! Innit marvellous! You try to do a plug for your homeland – only for this lot to make a buttplug out of it!’

‘At least unlike this tip you can get some fun from a buttplug!’

‘Witty darling, language please!’

‘I’ll ram my toe up your arse at high speed never mind a buttplug if I get any more of your lip Witless, you saucy little git! Look, this lot have their disagreements, but look what’s happening now with Diggory and Uncle Ghastly, er I mean Grigor Gasterlich.’

‘He’s telling about his new investments market portfolio. It’s a top down bottom up multi layered inter-dimensional hedge and shubbery fund, and Diggory’s falling for it, um, I mean considering making an educated investment in it.’

‘Look at young Shrove and Switch – a few moments ago they were almost at each other’s throats.’

‘But now they’re discussing in earnest the new limited edition My Little Ponies Of The Apocalypse coming out in the spring.’

‘Indeed, Elysia is correct – apologies for this apropos interdiction. Rowan Tyneham, at your service! My sisters and I may have the occasional intemperate contemporary contretemps with one’s neighbours, but one never forgets one’s neighbours are always one’s friends.’

‘Even Whitsun Winterbottom, who one concurs can be – if you pardon the venacular – a f**king oxygen thief needing his face shoved in a food blender.’

‘Um ***cough!*** thank you for that Rowan – I think! Lonely Island may be at times a loony bin – but it’s our little loony bin, and I wouldn’t swap it for the world!’

A Nintendo Switch Tale For Christmas: ‘Who Are You Trying To Skykid?’

25 December, 2018

Meh! What’s this stupid game I’ve been given?

A thirty three year old arcade game the oldies remember, and they’ve putting it into a 2018 handheld gaming system with a bunch of other wrinklies games?

Pur-leeeeese!

Stupid game. Stupid controls. Everything in 2-D. What’s the point?

Yeah I know Limbo was in 2-D, but that was different! It is a classic atmospheric game which broke new boundaries in what can be done outside of the confines of the isometric gaming genre.

Okay okay, I’m giving it a proper chance and not giving up cause I’m no good at it cause I don’t like it.

There, look, see? Made it to sucky level three, and have found strategies to cope with being shot at from front, behind and the ground.

Yes, I know the loop the loop button is vital. It took me a couple of hours to realise this.

Yeah, I still say it sucks! It’s just I had to have something to do while waiting for Sims 3 to load up.

Then having to wait for the Sims 3 world to load up.

Then having to wait for Create-A-Sim to load up fully so I can use it.

Then having to wait for Accessories to load up fully so I can use it.

It is useful to me right now. It still means nothing to me. A distraction. A brief time killer.

I’M GOING TO BEAT THIS EFFING SKEET ARSETURNIP OF A GAME IF IT IS THE LAST THING I DAMN WELL DO!

The Nazi Christmas Turkey: Dear Mark Collett, Are You Feeling INCREDIBLY STUPID Yet?

24 December, 2018

It may be the season of goodwill to all human kind, but never when you’re on the political extremes, whose idea of a Christmas feast is gorging themselves on every example they can find of political correctness gone mad or some special interest group being nasty towards vanilla whiteys.

Mark Collett used to be a big deal on the far-right. A former right-hand man of Nick Griffin and head of the British National Party’s youth wing, he became the party’s head of publicity during their heyday until he fell out with Nasty Nick shortly before the BNP began to implode.

Ever since, he’s been trying to reestablish himself in ‘patriot’ circles, unfortunately for him they tend to have very long memories and could hold grudges for Britain at the Olympics to gold medal winning level. He may be a hopeless bigot (loves Hitler, hates non-whites, gays, anyone with a funny walk or eats funny food or reads funny books, etc), but they’ll never forgive him or Griffin for ‘selling out’

‘Selling out’ to ‘racial nationalists’ doesn’t mean the same as it does to, for example, pretentious music fans when their favourite band’s sound becomes more mainstream in order to get more people to like them (or, more often than not, because they’ve learned to write songs and play their instruments properly). It has little in practice with anything to do with watering down ‘the message’ (the message in question all too often being ‘Heil Hitler’…).

No, in these queer circles, ‘selling out’ means anyone silly enough to organise a far-right party properly enough to win votes and win elections, resulting in the sort of mass attention from the media and general public (the internet is a wonderful thing!) under which their whole house of cards very quickly falls apart, and anyone espousing those view was cast back into the political wilderness for another two decades.

(This doesn’t tend to happen with the far-left. They simply spend all their time trying to hijack the Labour Party. With predictable results.)

In the BNP’s case, they did have a professional politics lecturer in Andrew Brons as one of their MEPs, someone able to argue their case with the facts and decades of practical dialectic experience. Which is why of course the BNP avoided doing so like the plague, had Nick Griffin, Simon Darby and Mark Collett handle the media duties, and to no-one’s surprise but their own provided the general public with some splendid car crash moments on live TV.

Never mind Griffin’s toe curling performance on ‘Question Time’ (when you have an open goal like Jack Straw on the panel and still end up looking like the biggest fool, you should know you’re out of your tiny depth), there were endless spats between Simon Darby and Kate ‘All I Want For Christmas Is A Top Lip’ Burley over the years on Sky News (including one where he asks her if she’d got out of the wrong side of bed!)

No longer so young Master Collett has tried to reestablish himself with little success, even suffering the humiliation of the Leave Campaign taking out a court order to stop him and his girlfriend from distributing their leaflets during the EU Referendum campaign of 2016 in a bid to politically rehabilitate themselves.

His latest ploy on Twitter – the perfect place for a twit – has been making various cheap clickbait posts with all the objectivity of a tabloid headline writer.

Savour this little beauty from a few days ago:

Ah, the old ‘bad Muslims covered up by a politically correct media’ trope.

Of course, a certain business at Gatwick Airport with drones may have been dominating some of their attention (along with a homeless man freezing to death outside Parliament on the day they were debating whether or not the leader of the Opposition had called the Prime Minister a ‘stupid woman’).

Or it may have been because it was old news from two days before by the time it met with Master Collett’s attention.

So much for mainstream media silence – on the national broadcaster no less. That’s that one knocked right on the head, as the apple would have said to Sir Issac Newton (followed by ‘take a bath, you historically notorious soap dodger!)

But it gets better.

It has also turned out his attempt to troll YouTube with what was little more than a moronic ‘lads banter’ video looks set to cost him his taxi driver’s licence.

The whole business done and dusted a day before it came to Collett’s notice. No wonder he was such a success as the head of the BNP’s media department.

Nothing to see here, move along.

Dear BBC – There Is A Rather Obvious Fatal Flaw With Your ‘Watership Down’ Television Movies

23 December, 2018

Here is the original 1979 version:

Bigwig and Dandelion and Hazel and Fiver and Blackberry and Pipkin – wondering why Violet’s flying through the sky in the bloody talons of a hawk.

Then wondering who Violet was anyway as they weren’t in the book!

You were able to rhyme off the names the second you saw this shot, right?

Now for the BBC version.

Oh look it’s Hazel and Fiver, but which one is which? They are impossible to tell apart!

The background scenery is brilliant, even if not canon in parts – Efrafa now in an abandoned factory which looks like the basement of the Shalebridge Cradle instead of the crossroads of a bridle path. If you’ve ever wanted to see what Nuthanger Farm really looks like, it’s a faultless job.

Pity the rabbits (which look and move more like hares) are so hard to tell apart and so difficult to remember. Even their voices largely melt into Stepford levels of sameness. Amusingly, General Woundwort once more sports that non-book blind white left eye from 1979 which has become the character’s signature enough to also appear in the hopeless children’s ITV series many years ago. Less amusing is his supermodel svelteness – this one doesn’t look like he could knock the skin off the producer’s skinny Nescafé.

The other animals are done so badly it’s painful. Everyone knows crows and all other corvidae attack with quick stabbing motions with their beaks while staying partly in flight (to get out of trouble as fast as they got into it should their victim prove a more dangerous adversary than taken for), not trying to attack with the claws on their feet or ‘bite’ with their beaks – biting in combat is by those with teeth. Nuthanger Farm’s Bob is now a rottweiler, not a black labrador, a breed largely unknown in the 1970s and certainly never kept on a working farm. Working farms mean working farm dogs: sheepdogs, retrievers, not the canine equivalent of nightclub bouncers. As for Tab the cat, let’s say a cat is what it is supposed to look like.

If the BBC were desperate for something to touch base with the LGBTQ+ agitprop industry – as they forever are – they could have left in Bigwig’s trans-species obsession with Kehaar from the book, not swapped it out for Bluebell behaving as if he’s got a gay crush on Blackberry. The gull’s role is pivotal in the book, in this version the producers appeared clueless what to do with the character. Peter Capaldi’s och-aye-the-noo-up-yer-cottontails-Jimmy porridge kitsch Kehaar – not quite as dreadful as the late Rik Mayell’s comedy Kehaar for the ITV version, but bad nevertheless – as least shows consistency in that everything this man touches these days is doomed to turn to hraka.

Let’s not even go into the deviations from the story – the stupidity of which is encapsulated by cutting out anything from the original which may result in anyone complaining it left them ‘triggered’ yet adding in new parts which merely highlight how poor the CGI animation is, including a fight with a murder of crows in an abandoned church (the idea taken from the ‘offstage’ rats in the barn battle from the book and 1979 film) – the visuals may look 2018, but the movements look Minecraft.

Worst of all, and what becomes steadily more jarring as the films go on, if you watch the remake, the foliage does not move – basic computer game standard animation now regarded as essential for immersion. The water and rivers looks good, but this is about all you can say for it. It’s almost a metaphor for the whole show – Water It Down.

 

The Guardian Newspaper: Where Rape Culture Is Acceptable If It’s One Of Their Own Journalists Embracing It For Cheap Laughs

13 December, 2018

You think The Guardian newspaper can sink no lower in its hypocrisy.

Only for it to do this.

The newspaper obsessed with rape and ‘rape culture’ (they almost coined the phrase, along with many of the political correctness memes now regarded as standard) now using the language of Donald Trump or some other misogynist arse turnip

You can picture the excuses already. ‘But it’s a woman doing it, so it makes it alright. It’s the same as when people of colour using n*gga.’

No it bloody well is not. It’s pointless to get on your high horses about rape and rape culture when you’re perfectly happy to use it yourselves, which in The Guardian’s case they go on about it to the point of complete obsession.

Only eleven days earlier in The Observer (which is to all purposes The Guardian on Sunday – owned by the same company and sharing the same webspace), it was full speed on the automatic handwringer with the following:

‘being exhausted by insidious rape culture’ – so exhausted that eleven days later they were big fat doing it themselves.

How obsessed is The Guardian that rape and rape culture are bad things and need to be stopped?

This much:

Monday 22nd October 2018

Monday 1st October 2018

Barely a week goes by without The Guardian screaming hysterically about rape and rape culture when it has run out of other repetitions from its routine repertoire (‘racism is the greatest evil to befall civilisation ever,’ ‘Brexit is the greatest evil to befall civilisation ever, ‘the cancellation of the Doctor Who Christmas Special is the greatest evil … ‘ , etc.).

But this time Emer O’Toole a woman’s voice is being heard – and Marina Hyde from your own newspaper thinks it’s okay to joke about rape when the victims are people whose views you don’t agree with.

This passed a Guardian sub-editor’s checks and was declared fit for publication in the most insufferably politically correct publication – or at least likes to think itself as – in the whole of the British Isles.

How do its readers feel that the newspaper which endlessly plugs the above book from its online bookshop has openly indulged in a bit of rape culture ‘banter’ of its own?

 

 

Almost a thousand comments of sycophantic praise – the few dissenting voices being hastily erased.

The same Guardianistas screaming ‘misogyny!’ and ‘rape culture’ thrice before Trump Tweet call it ‘rib tickling … pithy prose’, the ‘best opening sentence in Guardian history’, ‘a triumphant return to top form,’ ‘wonderful eviscerating satire’, ‘priceless’, ‘wide spectrum view’ and umpteen billion ‘brilliant!’s over vicious rubbish a teenage troll would find themselves permanently banned from any reputable website for posting: not only the rape part but a bit of gloating about school bullying thrown into the mix for the lulz as well.

Or they themselves would be screaming for the police to take down had it been printed by the Daily Express, Mail, Telegraph, etc. directed as one of their idols.

For in the Guardianista disturbed idea of decency, it is acceptable for someone to be bullied or raped in proportion to how far they fail to share the same world view as The Guardian – a sentiment heartily shared by revisionist historians and the sort of people who join the Socialist Workers Party.

Pass the sick bag.